Resentment Be Gone!

Many of you know that my husband David has been gone in the Army for eight months now and what a journey it has been for the both of us. While I am very proud of David for what he has accomplished and how hard he has worked to get through this, there has been a part of me that has been full of resentment towards David for choosing to make such a drastic decision that not only has affected me, but also my children. I haven't voiced this resentment to David too many times because the last thing I want to do is discourage him, but I have voiced it out of anger and I needed to step back and see the error of my ways!

This decision to join the Army was not supported by me, but it's something David wanted to do to try and better our lives and once he signed the papers, there was nothing I could do anyway...he belonged to the THEM! So, I did what I had to do, I had no choice. When David first left, I wanted to throw myself the biggest pity party in the universe and I did! I honestly didn't think I could make it without him. We've never been apart and being without him scared me stiff! I had to put on a dignified face and go through every passing day for my children even if I was crying on the inside.

The lonliness I have experienced from being without my husband for eight long months can only be described as heartache. It's been tough going through every day life and events without the one person in my life that means everything to me. He's missed birthdays, anniversaries, surgeries, holidays, school events, and moments we can't get back. I've missed his company, his touch, his laughter, his smile, his humor, his eyes, his support, his encouragement, his love...I've just missed HIM!

I've had to be both mom and dad for our two girls and I'm not sure that I've done such a great job, but I know I've done the best that I can and I know my girls have been provided for and taken care of, so I can rest in that knowledge. They've missed their daddy more than words can say and sometimes they've acted out because of it, they've cried because of it, but I know that above all, they're just as proud of their daddy as I am!

As the end of this long journey draws near and I have time to ponder every aspect of this journey, I know there is only one thing left to do....finally let go of the resentment and be the supportive wife that I know my husband deserves, for this journey hasn't been easy for either one of us and just as I have had to trudge through muddy waters, David has had to walk through fire and step into a whole new world all for the sake of bettering our lives, so who am I to resent him? It's time for me to forgive and let go and look forward to our future together.
That's exactly what I intend to do for the love of my life~he deserves that from me!